Today was a good day

I don't seem to have a lot of good days, but today was one of them.  I went today to fill out my new hire paperwork for my new job and to go through orientation.  I will be working as Direct Support Staff for Alternative Opportunities Community Services.  I will be working for people with developmental disabilities.  I've done this type of work before and really enjoyed it so I'm super excited to be getting back into it.  I got to meet two of the clients today and they are wonderful and I can't wait to work with them.  Everyone there seems so friendly and down to earth so I think I will fit right in.  Before going to my orientation, my dad and I went to find me a car to get me back and forth to work since I live 30 miles away.  I had limited funds, using mostly my financial aid refund from school.  But I was able to find a 1998 Chevy Lumina for only $1200!!   Now it's no beauty, but it runs and if I maintain it properly, it should last me a while.  I'm just excited to have that independence and freedom back!  The worst thing in the world is to have to depend on others to take you here and there and to have to work around other peoples schedules.  Well that's all behind me now.  So now you see why today was a good day.

Another year older, another year wiser

Happy birthday to me!  Yes, today is my birthday which marks my 41st year on this planet.  I'm not exactly sure how I feel about turning 41.  On one hand, it makes me sad.  I am now officially IN my 40's!  There's no turning back.  But on the other hand, I'm in my 40's, and damn I look good!  For once in 30 years, I have no one to take care of but myself.  I am free to be myself, make my wants and needs a priority, and to truly be selfish for once!  I feel like a mature middle aged woman in some respects, but in others, I feel like I'm in my 20's still and can still make outlandish choices and mistakes and still be okay.  I'm loving life right now.  I have 41 years of wisdom in me, and hopefully another 41 years of childish mistakes from which to learn.  So here's to another four decades of laughter and love, hurts and tears.  For I'm only going to come out better for it.

New Possibilities

Today I had a job interview.  It's not like I haven't had a million of them in my 40 years, but this one was different.  The difference was that I haven't worked in five years.  I had an accident back in 2010, where I fell off a ladder.  I spent many years thinking I was going to be disabled and never going to be able to work again.  A few months ago a lovely man, named Dr Kunkel, changed all of that for me.  He was the first doctor I had seen for my back pain who didn't just shove pain medicine at me and push me out the door.  He actually listened to me, ordered tests, and began doing injections.  Not all of the injections worked, but once he found that sweet spot, oh the relief I have felt!  I have been walking in my neighborhood.  I'm thinking about getting a bike.  I am almost as active as I was before my accident.  And now, I am applying for jobs and going on interviews so I can get back out there in the workforce!  This feeling is more incredible than I can describe.  I thought I was doomed to a life of disability and pain.  So you see, this interview was more than just an interview, it's the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life, and I'm running with it full steam ahead!

I Believe that love isn't all you need.

I know most people are familiar with the famous Beatles song, "Love is all you need".  Well I'm here to tell you that love isn't always all you need.  I was married.  Note I said "was".  I divorced in April of 2014.  We were married in November of 2012.  Yes, do the math, it was a very short marriage.  I can tell you right now, I loved my husband.  And, yes, I think he loved me, at least in his own way.  Unfortunately, love wasn't enough to make our marriage work.  My husband was also controlling, and possessive, and could be abusive at times, but I loved him.  And yet no matter how much I loved him, we couldn't make it work.  I suggested counseling, a trial separation, anything to make things work, but he would have no part in it.  So I finally had to decide which was more important to me, my love for him, or my love for myself.  Out of self preservation, I left with my things, (which wasn't much) and am starting over.  That was my only marriage.  I avoided marriage because everyone I knew was divorced and I didn't want to be them.  Yet here I am, 40, divorced, no house, no car, nothing but a broken heart and shattered esteem.  I am rebuilding myself and my life now.  Maybe love is all I need, from myself, not from others. 235 words

I Believe....

I believe that I am creative.
I believe that I am intelligent.
I believe that there is good in everyone.
I believe that it takes a village to raise a child.
I believe that a marriage is not 50/50 but both people giving 100%.
I believe that people have lost faith in our government.
I believe our military are underpaid and undervalued.
I believe my daughter is my greatest accomplishment.
I believe my friends keep me around for entertainment purposes.
I believe I can do anything I set my mind to.
I believe I am the hero in my story, not the victim.
I believe that my mother is in denial about her sanity or lack there of.
I believe that Wal-Mart is the true spawn of Satan.
I believe that if I don't get more focused I'm not going to do well in my classes.
I believe that I will reach my weight loss goal.
I believe I really am as fabulous as I say I am.
I believe that I am very humble.
I believe that music can heal a broken heart.
I believe that words have more power than any weapon.
I believe that love isn't all you need.
I believe that dogs are better than cats.
I believe once a Tiger, always a Tiger!
I believe that true friends are hard to find.
I believe this 10 minutes will never end!
I believe I am finally done! Whew!

My writing personality

I recently took a personality test to find out what sort of writer I am.  According to this test I am INTJ which stands for Introversion, iNtuition, Thinking and Judging.  Now like you, I could only imagine what these words actually mean in describing me.  So I read the explanation and found that according to "them", I am a regular think outside the box, go against the grain kind of girl! And believe it or not, I really am.

Just like Dorothy and Alice, I usually let my imagination carry me away to far off places where conformity doesn't exist.  I was the daydreamer, the thinker, the find new, exciting and more efficient ways of doing things in school.  Most people couldn't see the bigger picture like I could which made my thoughts and ideas very strange to them.  It may have sounded like nonsense, but I always knew what I was talking about.

The one problem I would constantly run into though what boredom.  If I had to write on something that just didn't get my creative juices flowing then I was lost.  I would put it off to the last possible minute, if I completed it at all.  But if a project was engaging then I went at it full force!  Everything I have described in this entry is everything that this test says I am.  So I guess they aren't too off the mark because they sure do have me pegged!